News Break 5.23.08

Fitting picture.

This is how I seem to feel most of the time as of late. I really don't want to spend the whole post here talking about my parent's divorce so I'll only hit the high points.

Divorce sucks. The reasons don't matter. Period.

Divorce starts to bring out all kinds of "truths" that have been hidden over the years. You find out that people either may or may not be who you knew or suspected.

My mom is having a very hard time with everything and I can understand from a distance. After almost 32 years of marriage it would be hard to find out that your husband had been having an affair for the last year. It would then be hard to set your sights on trying to pick the pieces back up to see what can be salvaged only to find out a year later, before your 33rd anniversary, that the last year had been for nought.

My dad, as we have come to find out, began casual email correspondence with an old co-worker. After two or three years it escalated to something more. It essentially turned into a second life. Now as more and more comes back to the surface the plot only thickens and becomes more complicated.

I plan on meeting with my dad this weekend to discuss some of the insanity in which he now lives. I'm glad that we are finally meeting because I was beginning to fear that he was avoiding me and that our relationship might altogether dissolve. He is, after all, still my father.

My mother has rightfully told him that as soon as the house is refinanced in her name and she has ownership that she wants him out. I kind of hate to see that happen but it is what she needs to be able to move on with her life.

I find myself loving on my kids more these days.

One thing is for certain in life- nothing in life is for certain; circulum ad nausium.

In other news, I was recently able to finish tiling my bathtub surround. I only have a few pieces of crown moulding that need to be replaced. For the most part though, it feels pretty good to have a project complete. I haven't seemed to be able to do that for a while.

I am typing this post through the Safari web browser.

This weekend is Memorial Day weekend. My motto: Oppose war at all possible costs, but support our troops when it does happen.

That will be all for now.

I Upgraded - OR - Do You Ubuntu?

It is here, and probably has been for a while before I upgraded.

So efficient.

Let's Ketchup

I've been a little absent from the blog-o-sphere lately. I've just had a lot going on all at once and I've been hard pressed to have the strength to remember things that were on my mind earlier in the day when it is so late at night. I end up making mental notes in my head but then I forget where I put them.

Spring is here and I'm finally so glad to see days of sunshine and warmer temperatures that don't make me wonder who much I'm going to have to shovel the next day. I can leave my jacket in the car and the furnace doesn't have to run as much. Sleeping comes more comfortably for me...so now I just need to try and bring myself to start going to bed at decent times. The other thing that I love is that I can spend more time with my kids outside. I remember spending so much time outside as a kid. My world existed outside. The indoors seemed only to serve a few very small purposes for me-
It's where I could sleep
It's where my food came from
It's where I found shelter in the cold and rain
It's where we came to memorize the entire script of The Goonies

Now that I'm older the inside does server far more useful purposes than those listed above but too much of it is just too much. I like being outside. It helps my depression. I'd like to think that it helps my tan, but after frying myself a few years ago while fishing, this raging paradoxidation will not be too concerned about the shade of his skin. Vanity.

I came home from work on Thursday to a quiet house. My wife's van was in the driveway and I entered the house to find her busy doing wife things and the rest was all quiet. I thought that the kids may have been either outside playing quietly and I missed them, they were over at the neighbor's or they were upstairs playing so I inquired. "Where are the kids?" My wife replied "they're not here." She had left them with her parents up at the farm. It will be a good break for both us and the kids. We needed some time together with just the two of us and some quiet time to be able to do some "adult" stuff and the kids really love spending time with "Memah and Papa." Everybody wins.

So we started Friday night off with a bang in a series of adult excursions- going to a home store to begin looking at tile for our bathtub surround. That's right. How much more adult can you get than that? The only problem was that we had limited time. We had a quick look at what the offerings were in Ames before we tried to sneak in a quick "date" at Fazoli's before I had to get back home to do some work for my "regular" job. Did we get everything done that we wanted to? No, but that's OK because we still got some alone time together. It had been almost a year since she and I had ridden alone in my car.

Saturday [yesterday] was nothing short of a roller-coaster.

You may remember the cat that I blogged about in my last post. The executive decision was made painfully that she needed to find another home. We don't know quite what happened but on Friday when we were out she decided that our futon mattress and a toy box belonging to the kids were going to be her litter boxes. We can't have that. So yesterday's excursion started out by making a trip to Des Moines to look at new futon mattresses. Yep, she really unloaded on the old one.

Once the new mattress was purchased then it was off to the Animal Rescue League. I really hated to leave her there but we just could not keep her if we could not trust her to wee where she's supposed to. The thing that made me feel much better about it though is knowing that the league takes very good caution as to who they release the animals to. I am sure that she'll end up in a good home and make someone very happy...but I will miss her affectionate cuddling.

After dropping her off then we were off to lunch. The menu started out to be a trip to one of the places that we like to visit periodically where my wife can have a steaming hot plate of Carne Asada and I can get my fill of beef nachos. Two things happened, though, on the way that sidetracked us. The first was my sister calling me on my cell leaving me a message that said that we really needed to talk soon. So when I could I called her back and we agreed that we'd find a time later that day to get together and discuss what was on her mind. The second sidetracking was the notice that the mall that we were driving past now had an Old Chicago restaurant. That has become a new fav of my wife and I so we stopped there to have a makeup date for the one that we missed Friday night.

After eating we then ventured off to look at more shower tile. What a dangerous feat. You stand there in an aisle looking like a major idiot [well, at least we probably looked that way since it was our first time] trying to decide what we wanted. We had started this journey with grand ideas of having the most awesome shower that we could imagine, within out budget.....but by the time it was all said and done we had both agreed that perhaps just plain 'ole white would do the trick. So now it was just a matter of finding the best price.

On our way to the next place of interest to shop for tile prices the phone rang again and it was my sister. She had decided on a time to get together with me and it was in 10 minutes. The van then took a detour that became a 10 minute drive to what felt like was going to be a funeral of some kind. I was now on my way to have an intervention of sorts with my dad. No drug or alcohol problems involved that we knew of but still something that needed to be addressed. To make a very long story short he finally told us that he had filed for divorce.

We had seen this coming from miles away. Mom and dad have had issues for quite a few years now that had only gotten worse in the last few years and then even worse in the last year. So much secrecy and avoidance of the issue. They really thought that they were playing house to the public well enough for nobody to notice but we knew.

It's nobody else's business at this point why they are doing this but for the first time in a very long time I sat there on the couch feeling a mental schetzophrenia. On the one half of my brain I had so many thoughts and questions going through my mind and on the other half I only heard what can be described as that sad music that you might hear during the credits of a movie that closes the door on any doubts you may have had about the story.

I had a lot of friends with divorced parents when I was a kid but I never knew from any of them just what that meant for them to go through. Now I am almost 30 years old and out on my own so I imagine that I might be in somewhat of an easier place with this. It doesn't seem to have quite the same emotional impact on me that it would have otherwise had if I had to think about having clothes in two different bedrooms in two different houses...and yet still I cry.

Almost thirty-three years of marriage will soon be gone. My mom is understandably crushed as she was led to believe that last year there may have been, if even only dim at that time, some glimmer of hope for them. My dad seems calloused and resolved about it.

So now while I remain on the fence as to what my next steps are in this whole process is with them I have to somehow prepare myself for the day that will soon be approaching when I have to explain to my children why Grandpa is never at Grandma's anymore and why he lives somewhere else.

I don't know what else to say about it right now. The thing that sucks and yet still offers me hope is that I remain one of the few left in my family that has only been married once to one woman. Despite our difference, God knows I'll fight to keep this one.

I gott a go now. My nose needs to be blown and I need to get to work on my shower, or as I like to call it- therapy.

Selah

Getting Fingered

This is so junior-highish to me that it isn't even really funny; and yet there's still something just vaguely cool about it.

If you can do these things then you're either ultra-cool or you need to meet that special someone- QUICKLY!

You Aint Artsier Than Me

A very cool video with a very cool message and graphics.

Captain's Log- Star date 4.19.08

It feels like it has been an old school G.I. Joe kung fu action grip since I've dropped a post on y'all.

So much stuff has been going down these days that I just can't seem to catch up with it. I'm just going to go in the order in which things creep up on me thinker.

I have been working my way through watching Dexter- Season 1. I have got to say that it is probably my new favourite series. It was originally made by and aired on Showtime but CBS also tried to make it into a slightly sanitized version for prime-time television. I have not been watching it there. I've been watching it in its raw form as originally aired. The premise is that Dexter is a blood spatter expert [do those even really exist? who cares?] for the Miami police department. He's got a secret though. He's really a serial killer...but the catch is that his victims are only deserving ones who have caused great harm for others. So it's really one of those that even though you know that he is in the wrong for what he is doing you still cheer for him. Kind of like Porter in Payback. I love the show and can't get enough of it.

My wife and I recently had to work through miscarrying a baby. Thankfully it was only after a few weeks of pregnancy, but I still feel sad about the loss. We are doing alright though.

Speaking of the wife, she is down in Des Moines this weekend only getting Jesus.

It has just been me and the kids tonight and will do the same tomorrow until she gets back. While I admit that there are certain times that I do look forward to the brief moments of temporary bachelorhood...things are just not the same tonight without her being here. Even though most nights we might be doing our own things around the house I guess tonight I just miss her presence.

We now have another cat again. We weren't sure what to think of her at first. She came to us from a house where she had 13 other companions to share litter boxes with. For the first several days she didn't really seem to want to have anything to do with us and then slowly she started warming up to us. Now after a few weeks she is roaming the house, trying to snuggle up to the dog and occasionally letting our daughter pet her. We finally named her. Fiona. She'll probably never catch on. She is a sweet cat that sounds like a dog's squeaky toy when she meows but she needs to learn the art of cuddling. It makes the dog jealous though.

The recent earthquake in Illinois has once again reminded me to try and be aware enough of my surroundings and the unknown that I don't get too overtaken with surprise about anything. It's even more amazing to me that the place where the earthquake happened is also the same place that holds the record for the worst earthquake in U.S. history.

I am still [very slowly but surely] working on my book. In case I didn't mention the title here before it will be called The Unauthorized & Incomplete Autobiography of Rage Perry. It's been fun so far. Now I just need to finish the damn thing.

I am now beginning the initial stages of what I hope will be my new career path. I have high ambitions to leave the cut-throat corporate IT world to pursue painting again. So if you want your house painted just let me know and I'll see if we can work something out. :-)

I am currently listening to a classic Radiohead tune called Creep. The song is a perfect stimulant for conversation as to various contextual relevances of the "F" word.

Earlier I listened to a tune from Red Hot Chili Peppers. One thing is for sure about them- whether you love or hate them they are a band to be commended for their diversity and substantive offerings. I just wish the drummer would wear clothes.

What ever happened to Dave Matthews? And where in the world are Waldo and Carmen SanDiego for that matter?

I need to go let the dog back in. I'll be right back......

OK, I'm back.

I think that's going to be all for tonight. If I think of anything later I'll scribble it then.

It's winter in the middle of a falling spring

Tomorrow is April 1st.

We've had 60 degree weather lately....followed by snow.

Today it was cold and rainy and it felt like a somber fall day.

What is going on these days and who do I need to talk to about it?

Worse Than Jehovah's Witnesses

What a busy week last week. I worked my regular job all week with my independent gigs happening during the evenings. Then there was an emergency that started late Friday morning that then bought me 10 hours of overtime that I worked this weekend.

The working overtime didn't bother me as I knew that I would be getting paid for my work. The real kick in the nuts came when I finally had some down time with my family on Saturday night. We had just been sitting down for a short time around 8PM when there was a knock at the door. My wife answered it and I heard her talking for a few minutes. Then I heard things get a little more quiet and then I heard her call for me.

I got up and went to the door to find her standing there with the door open and no one outside that I could see. She was also holding a candle that she had just received. The next thing I know, I see two younger kids heading back up to the house from what looked like a truck outside and one of them had a big box like the one seen in the picture above and to the right.

The guys came in and the younger one of the two BS'd his way through a very brief conversation stating that he knew my name. Well, when I told him my name and he said that he lives in Omaha apparently that made some kind of connection for him...beans that I yoosta live there for a while and all. Whatever. He was 10 years younger than I am. Anywhooooo......

They claim that they are just going around getting "opinions" about this vacuum cleaner that they are lugging around. AHHHH!!!!! I'll just cut to the chase-

These kids were out selling Kirby vacuum cleaners. I told them right up front that we had just bought a new vacuum not too long ago so we weren't in the market. They went ahead and did their demo and it really did seem like a nice machine. They wanted us to buy one that night, but when I pressed them to find out how I could purchase one at a later time I found out that I can't. I told them that we did not make purchases like that without giving it thought or time to do our research. They wanted to try and get us into some financing and I told them that we only pay cash.

The showman then called his "manager" who was really just an even-more-twinky-like dope than I ever expected. He wanted to find out from his manager what kind of a deal we could get. HA! Pardon me while I vomit.

The initial price that we were told for the machine was $2069. That's a lot of bones for a vacuum. When we resisted the notion of paying that much he said that they could take our vacuum that we just bought for a trade worth $350, then take off another $100 as part of the "Kirby Sales Challenge Weekend" and so the price was now down somewhere around $1600-1700 range.

The "manager" then showed up not too long after we told him again that we would not be making a purchase that night. Now, the manager was maybe 22 or 23. Very dull on customer service skills- he answered his cell phone immediately after asking me a question. When he was done with his call I told him once again that if we did make a purchase that it would not be tonight because we do not make purchases on the fly like that.

So as a last ditch effort, while I was then on the phone in the other room, the "manager" told my wife that for $1700 he'd give us not just 1 but 2 vacuums. WOW!!! What would we do with a 2nd vacuum? Then as a very last ditch effort, when I returned from my phone call he handed me a slip of paper and said "this is what I can give it to you for tonight." The paper said $700.

WOW! All the way from $2069 down to $700. So it really wasn't worth that much to begin with?

These shisters aren't even smooth with their style. You can't buy a vacuum unless you do it right then and there.

I am so glad that we got rid of them. Later on that night I read several stories online from www.consumeraffairs.com about all of the other crap that they've pulled with some of their other sales reps on customers.

Kirby- I once loved you as you were our family vacuum. Now you suck even more than you are supposed to.

Wrapping Up The Passion

Today marked the end of the Passion Week.

The festivities begin with the glorious Palm Sunday where pastors and preachers proclaim the "Triumphal Entry" of Jesus into Jerusalem. This serves as part one of the two week drama/tragedy.

I've never understood why it was called a "triumphal entry" since the same crowd that welcomed Jesus [according to the narratives] was the same one that crucified him. That doesn't sound like much of a triumph but rather a "crawfish" as they used to say back in the old west. [that's where you agree to one thing and then go back on your word....for all y'all that don't speak old west]

Next in the procession is Maundy Thursday. This is the day that is commemorated as the day that the Last Supper [or last Passover] was held with Jesus and his followers. It also remembers the prayer in the Garden of Gethsamane before Jesus was arrested and handed over to the Elders and Judas Priest.

Good Friday then follows with the remembrance of the awful torture and crucifixion of Christ. The problem with this day of remembrance though is that if you follow a real calender of events you'll find that in order for Jesus to rise from the dead after 3 days and still have it come out on a Sunday....then he would have had to have been crucified on a Wednesday before he had his Last Supper.....but I'm no math expert.

Saturday is then all quiet so that we can catch all of the basketball games on TV.

Sunday is then the main event. The day that you get up earlier than normal so that you can scoot off to church in time to catch the sunrise breakfast and all that follow. If the kids are lucky then the Jesus Bunny would have left them jolly chocolates in either various places around the house or in a nice wicker basket on the dining room table.

What I observed today at our church was a strange mix of all that made me feel weird. I saw many people who normally just wear jeans and t-shirts show up on dresses and suits. What's the difference? Why dress up more today than any other day? I really started wondering if maybe there was a funeral following the service or something.

Our pastor's sermon seemed to lack the luster that you'd typically imagine for such a day. He can always deliver a good message but for some reason today just seemed a bit out of touch for his normal presentation. To top all of that I just felt kind of bad that I generally just wanted to stay in bed all day.

We had company this weekend. We went to bed at a somewhat reasonable time last night. Well, we usually find the sack somewhere between 11pm-2am. This morning though we needed to be in the van and off to church by 7:30am in order to be there with our food for breakfast at the time that they told us.....we needed to be there by 8:00am. What time did we get there? 8:20. Nobody seemed to make a big deal out of it though so that was OK.

It was hard enough to get up, let alone get up and get 3 adults and 5 children ready to go in a short amount of time. We got there though and had our breakfast. When breakfast was done it was then Sunday School hour- something that we are never really there for. So the wife and her friend decide that would be a good time to head over to Wal-Fart and pick up some goods while I hang out in the adult Sunday School class and listen to them brainstorm about better ways to try and get good with folks before they try and sell them Jesus. I stayed around until they broke up into small groups and then that's when I found a comfy chair.

I normally get upset with people who don't have the common courtesy to pay attention to speakers in public but today during the service I lost it several times. What would otherwise pass for my deep meditation on the themes of transcendent nature ended up only being me dozing off by accident. The first time was during the offering. The other 3 or 4 times were during the sermon. Man did I feel bushed.

So much to do and keep up with today that my afternoon nap just couldn't come soon enough. I feel refreshed a bit now and I feel even better about finally spending some more time with my kids today. I haven't had a whole lot of time with them lately. I need more of it though.

Another Easter in the books. Did I miss anything?

Cleaning Up

This is not an advertisement. My wife and I have finally had it with our current water situation. We live in a small town that has its own water treatment so we have "city" water but it is sooooo bad.

Whenever the kids take a bath the water has a blue-ish tint to it and it smells like a swimming pool. We probably spend more each year on Brita water filters than we would ever spend on the money that it would cost to buy salt or potassium pellets for a water softener.

So we are finally taking the plunge. Today we will be heading off to the hardware store to buy a new water softener. We have lived in this house for 6 years now and the original water softener that was here when we moved in has never worked so we've never had good water.

A few years ago we were having issues with our water heater. The heating element kept blowing on it and so my dad and I decided to open it up and take a look. After a few hours we had removed about 10 gallons of calcium and lime sediment. No wonder we didn't seem to be able to take very long showers before it got cold. I am thinking that we might be due for the new water heater next year but we'll just have to see.

I will be installing this puppy myself so I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers that I can get.

Update- Saturday night: We didn't get this today. We didn't plan our time well enough and the store closed before we got there. Hopefully they still have some left when we try again tomorrow and the sale is still on.

It's DST Again- Spring Forward!

Rock On!

Heavy Metal Cello Badass cellists, Apocalyptica, perform Metallica`s ``Enter Sandman`` at Rock im Park festival in Germany.

No Vote For You!!!

This happy couple to the left is the product of an Iowa judge who, in the heat of the moment, decided to legalize gay marriage in the state of Iowa for about 1 day before he realized what a HUGE decision he made. At the end of the day he then decided to put a stay on his own decision making it not legal again.

The state of Iowa is now trying really really hard to enforce the Defence Of Marriage Act [DOMA] but they are having a tough time with it. Correction- The people of the state of Iowa are having a hard time getting anywhere with it. Why? Because the State Legislature will apparently neither open this topic up for further debate, nor put this out for the people of the state to vote on.

I am not going to use this post to talk about my views on the issue. I am going to use this post to talk about how the state is, once again, taking the final decisions out of the voter's hands and making its own decision. My opinion on the matter isn't as important as my outrage that the voters will not have any say in this. What ever happened to the phrase "by the people, for the people?" Since when does the state have the right to take away the voter's voices?

It is my understanding that most likely the majority of Iowa voters would be against the legalization of gay marriage. If that is the case then the majority vote should speak loud enough to voice that it should not be legalized. If this is then the case, then why would the minority voice of those in charge see ANY permission whatsoever to pass legislation that is completely contrary to the people's wishes?

To me this is no longer an issue of whether or not we should allow gay marriage in the state of Iowa, this is a question of liberty. "Give me liberty or give me.....oh, you don't have any more of that? Then I'll take whatever's left."

When the people start to lose their voice then it's time to start cleaning house. Will anyone be willing to do what is necessary to reclaim their freedoms and responsibilities?