Too Little Time

Hello to all of my [3] readers that I have left hanging for months now without any posts. Life has been very busy handing me out items that usually consume more time than what I have.

I am not one to make excuses so I'll just cut right to the quick of what's been going on-

-Back on March 18th my wife and I welcomed the birth of our 3rd child, Murray James. He's now 2 months old and getting bigger by the day. So that ups the Whitehead clan to 5 with more to come in the future.

-Custom Computer Works is still alive and serving. Still no sign of it ever becoming anything more than just a hobby job for me but it helps us maintain a little cash flow on the side when needed.

-The wife and I are giving very serious action [whenever we get around to it] to selling our house in hopes of moving closer to the Des Moines area. For 8 years now I have been driving 2 hours each day back and forth to work and there is absolutely no logical sense for it. I had hoped to have a sign in the yard by June 1 but I don't think that the house will be ready for it....but I think I'll still put the sign up anyways and we can work on things as we have time. I'm open for later negotiations.

-I have decided that it is long overdue for me to take control of my life back from my stomach and butt. For the last 8 weeks I have been working more aggressively at getting back in to the shape that I am supposed to be in. I am taking the following actions:

• I am only eating 1/2 as much as I used to
• The food that I do eat is different from what I used to eat; no white bread or noodles made from white flour, more veggies, less sweets
• I bought some running shoes....and I'm actually using them for running
• I have gotten the mountain bike back out for some off-road trail riding
• I hung the punching back back up
• I dusted off the Total Gym and put it out in the garage where it could aways be ready for use
• I try to play outside with the kids more often

What I would love to find time to do:

• Finish writing some of my "dangling" songs that I've left alone for years
• Record those songs once they are finished
• Finish writing my book The Unauthorized and Incomplete High School Rememboirs of Rage Perry
• Take a trip to Scotland.....which will one day happen!

That is all for now. I need to go refinance my auto loan on my van. The banking institution that I work for has horrible rates so I need to go do this with another fine establishment.

What Size Does That Come In?

This is just a little ranty peeve of mine-

Tonight I called Godfather's to order a pizza. I forgot that they only had two sizes, personal pan and large. That is not so much of a problem for me because the alternate to the personal pan, being the large, is pretty large in comparison. So in this case it would seem to make sense to have a small and a large. Enough said.

But there is another place that I know of that is a burger joint that does not offer small, medium, and large. They only offer medium and large. My question is this- if you don't offer a small size then why offer a size called medium? It isn't a middle size to anything. Medium is a class that designates a middle point between two other sizes. If you don't have a small then it would only make sense to just possibly call the medium a regular at best.

Maybe I am just too fickle.

Enjoy this clip

March Mad-ness a.k.a. Have you seen me lately?

It has now been about a month and a half since I've made an etching in this, my tablet of Internet presence. Now, lest you take pity on me I do realize that I am but a speck. Only a fly turd in the vast dirt that makes up the rest of the soil of the soul of life outside my head.

Life has just been all over the place for me lately.

• Work has been very busy for me lately, as in my main job- but by now you should know my mantra about blogging about that; I DON"T DO IT....So I just leave it at that.
• My children are getting bigger before my eyes. My son will be 4 this summer and my daughter will be 6.
• My wife is getting bigger by the day and we are growing anxious for the timer to ding, letting us know that our current little belly bun is ready.
• I continue to learn more about life from many different dimensions.

Now for some random thoughts that you may or may not care to know-

1. Sometimes I am concerned with the amount that I eat...sometimes too much, sometimes not enough
2. I've been getting headaches more often lately that requires trips to my chiropractor
3. I sometimes feel like a conservative with liberal tendencies...but I'm still very conservative
4. I went to my first marriage conference this weekend with my wife that I actually kind of enjoyed.
5. The more I think, experience and ponder I find spirituality in general to have so many dimensions that it is confusing and tiring.
6. I like watching Celebrity Apprentice solely to watch people who think that they are big slowly get squashed.
7. I hope to actually get some enjoyment out of this coming spring and summer.
8. Even though the rest of the country is in a recession, I do not feel that my family is too greatly affected by it right now.
9. I need to go to bed earlier in the evenings.
10. I need to get up earlier in the mornings.
11. I wish I were any Oscan Meier weiner.
12. I have very high stress.
13. I have a very short attention span.
14. I can't believe that I've gotten into Facebook the way I have.

I think that is it for now. I really need to be a little more active on this blog but it's hard when I don't think about it too much.

And now for something completely different-

Droppin' Some Verbal Knowledge

Here are a few of my favourite phrases that I've picked up over the years. First the word/phrase, then the definition and then an example.

A Grip:
Definition- a long passage of time, usually at least since last Spring Break
Example- Dang...how've you been? It's been a grip since I last saw you!

Fixin'ta:
Definition- making preparations
Example- Q. What are y'all doin'? A. We're finxin'ta go to the mall.
[note: "fixing to" or "fixin' to" are not aceptable]

Geekin'
Definition- to act awkward or nerdy
Example- I really wanted to make a good impression on that chick, but then I just started geekin'. I probably blew it.

Howdja-
Definition- to inquire into a course of action
Example- I've been trying to get that lid off all day; howdja manage to get it off?

Flip-flopper
Definition- someone who is prone to change their mind alot
Example- Down at the slam dunk contest they had some real flip-floppers

Rule of thumb
Definition- a general measure of advice or operation
Example- I can get mean, but as a general rule of thumb they shouldn't bleed for longer than 15 minutes

A List.....

....Of people who deserve to be punched.

People Who Deserve It

Pee-cicles

It has been colder than....well, cold this past week. Temperatures have seldom made it above 0 these past few days. This is Iowa so we should kind of be used to it. It's just that we haven't dipped this low for the last ten years.

What is hard to fathom for me are the folks who live in Alaska that are used to it. When their cars or buses don't run they just hop on the snow mobiles. Kids put on their tennis racket-like shoes and head off to school.

Things I like to do when it is this cold-

Spit waaaaay up in the air. I know that it is juvenile but it is still fascinating.
Start my car and let it run for a long time before I get in. I like it toasty warm, but it kills my gas mileage.
Take a pan of hot water outside just to watch it get extra steamy.
Pee outside when I'm not close to a public bathroom. Yeah, probably illegal in many places but when you gotta go, you gotta go; and if it is cold enough you can see it steam and freeze before it hits the ground.

With that said, spring still can't come soon enough. I don't like wearing coats.

Next week it is supposed to soar into the upper mid 30's. I'll be at the beach....not really, but these goofballs decided to go-



I'm going to go find my electric blanket.

You Say You Want A Resolution

2008 is now gone and I don't know where all it went. Another year of working has passed. Another year of my children't lives have passed. Another year of my marriage has completed. In so many ways there were milestones and in others it was, sadly, just like all the rest.

Typically the way I close out each year is to put on my headphones and listen contemplatively to A Long December by Counting Crows. Here it is, if you haven't heard it-




Well, I didn't do that this year. This year we brought in the new year watching the movie Traitor. I didn't know what else to do.

I also didn't want to put togther some immediately sappy post about all the memories that I was adding to the book of my life. I wanted to take a little more time than I normally do. Well, I've taken that time now and I think that I've come up with a few things.

I really have not been one to make new year's resolutions. I've always thought that they were cheap and lazy and unachievable. I also don't think that the new year should begin in winter. I'm all for irony but that is too much. It would be more fitting if the new year began in spring when everything is coming back to life; but apparently we all know how I don't run the show....

Anyways, here are some of my "resolutions" for the year-

• Find a new line of work- I can't keep up and I'm getting burned out
• Try to have better dividing lines between my work life and my home life
• Move to another house that is more practical for the fitting in of the rest of our lives
• Have more play time; with my kids and doing the things that I like
• Try to put fewer miles on my car unless it is for worthwhile adventures
• Read more
• Broaden my musical tastes
• Go to a local play or musical
• Go to an IMAX film
• Revisit the game of frisbee golf
• Get haircuts more frequently
• Finish writing my book

I haven't decided on a new song for the year. I will need some time to think about that for a while. Rest assured that when I find it you all will know.

It came upon a midnight cold

I had a realization last night. I decided that it was time to take my kids outside in the 8 degree weather for some well needed play time. It reminded me of playing outside as a child. I would get all bundled up and go outside for hours at a time. We never seemed to get enough time out in the white coldness.

We had shovels, gloves, sticks and boots. We would build forts out of snow or take the 4 block hike up to the Elementary school where we spent the bulk of the rest of our time during the week. That was back when parents could trust society to let their kids tread into the unknown.

It was so much fun, but how is it that the memories would so quickly escape my mind? Probably because I'm usually just too busy. Kids can play outside when it is hot and when it is cold. I need to be more mindful of my kids' needs in this area.

The major bummer in the area that I live in is the lack of hills for sledding. I want to give my kids the same opportunity for white flight that I had. I want them to have the same sensation of flying down a hill questioning the ability to survive. I want them to feel the fear of not knowing if they will land back down on the sled or be left cold in a drift.

Kids should have that experience. Parents should provide it for them.

I do remember a few times that my parents took us to some pretty outrageous places to sled. No matter how cold it was we always had a good time.

We looked forward the most to the day when my dad would fulfill his promise of bringing home a whole dump truck load of snow and pile it in our front yard. Sadly, that day never came. I looked forward to making a castle out of it, but apparently it just wasn't meant for this wanna' be prince to reside in such a temporary ice palace.

I did dig a tunnel for my daughter yesterday. She liked it and so did I. There was also a certain sense of joy in my son clinging on to me for dear life in hopes of keeping warm.

No Perks @ Perkins

Today my family went and had lunch at Perkins. These are the classes of people that I observed-

The Church Crowd: They just came from church in their suits and hats
The Family Frolic: These are families that came in for lunch and it seems quite apparent by their combined weight that they are not strangers to the establishment
The Greasy Gabbers: Like the family that sat at the table next to us. They looked like they hadn't bathed in a few days. I had more teeth in my mouth alone than all four of them had put together. And they smelled like they lived in an ashtray. [I have nothing against smokers...but come on, were you steaming in your car with the windows rolled up right before you came in?]

It seems like the list of acceptable restaurants in Marshalltown is getting smaller. Here is a short list of places we no longer patronize and why, and in no particular order-

Burger King: They usually get our orders wrong [even when we are the only people in the joint] and none of the workers speak English
Wendy's: My wife insists that her burgers are always cold when she gets them
Arby's: The inside of the place always seems a bit dirty and the drive thru takes longer than waiting inside
Subway: Because my wife is pregnant there is some reason, that I can't remember, as to why she can't eat cold meat sandwiches right now
KFC: Because we always get more fried batter with our food than actual chicken
Long John Silvers: Heart attack in a greased box
Perkins: For the reasons listed above that spawned this post
The Olive Garden: "Because when you're here you're like family" and apparently it's OK for your family to serve you food that is only "not bad" but "not great"

Places we do still go-
Applebee's: Feelin' good in the neighborhood
McDonalds: Not sure why but they are still OK
Pizza Ranch: Nice buffet and a fairly clean place
Hardee's: Fairly clean and fairly good
Zeno's Pizza: Kind of an old place but it still has a little bit of class
Maid Rite: It is a classic restaurant. Literally on the map as one of the best in the area
Hickory Park: Very classy and great food
Old Chicago: Because the food is awesome and we can have fun
Taco John's: 6 pack & a pound. Cheap Sunday lunches and the place is clean

Bon Appetite

Thoughts On Christmas Music

Lately I have been listening to Christmas music while at home or on the road with my family. My wife really likes it. I don't. This is not a rant about doing things that you dont' like out of your undying love for another person....this is a rant about how much I am coming to dislike Christmas music.

This post also isn't directed toward anyone else who likes the genre, but I am no longer a fan of any kind.

I have noticed two major things about Christmas music that really get under my skin. The first one is the number of people who take the time to sing about a fictitious character named Santa Claus. A big fat guy who never existed and yet still has such a hold on this commercial holiday. I've heard all kind of people sing about him- Celine Dion [who I can't stand no matter what she sings], Neil Diamond, The Beach Boys, Alvin & The Chipmunks, Karen Carpenter...the list goes on and on.

The second thing that I've noticed is that you can't just hear a song once or twice, but in a given hour you might hear it 3 or 4 times all by different artists. It just goes to show that in order to sell Christmas albums you don't have to have any creativity. You can just do the same stuff as everyone else, but just do it with your own voice or with a saxophone or something like that. I see it like recycled rice cakes; different flavours, but ultimately there is no substance as you feel "better" about filling your tummy.

I am typically not a big fan of Christmas anyways but I'll just say that I'm glad that my car has a CD player so that I can listen to whatever is on my playlist instead.

Age Discrimination At Playland

I realized today that McDonalds is guilty of ageism. 

I have read the same sign a thousand times but it didn't really sink in for me until today. The sign says that kids up to 12 can play....and parents too. But what about those from ages 13-not yet parent?

I am surprised that they have not had any law suits leveled against them for this. 

What if, say, a fifteen year old was already a parent and they were able to play in there with their child...but another fifteen year old who went with them was not yet a parent? Would they be excluded from being able to play? And by what right?

I ultimately don't care. I am personally afraid to send my kids to play in that diseased ridden excuse for a good time. They might have fun, but I'm afraid of what they are going to bring home.

I Sold My Self At This Election

The election is now over.

I was not in favour of any of the candidates that were running, but I still recognized my civic duty to vote. People who do not vote should have no say in the current state of politics or policy.

I was saddened by so many people that I knew of that decided that they were not going to vote in this election. So many of them had been duped into believing that they were somehow making a point. To me the point, though unintended, was simple- we have finally been worn down enough that we will give you what you ultimately want; for us to stop voting.

I encouraged these people to at least write someone in on the ballot. 

My cousin called me one night very concerned that I was telling people to do this. He was under the impression that if I wrote someone else in, who had a lesser chance than McCain, that I was cancelling his vote. Partially right in logistics, but morally wrong.

I am not going to get into all of the details about who I wanted or why, but I will say that I ultimately conceeded and voted for McCain, an electoral mistake that I will not make again.

I don't buy into the crap that says that you should vote for the lesser of two evils or that you should cast your vote for the guy on "your side" that is most likely to win. Voting is a matter of conscience and choice based on representation. If you, like I did, give up your one shot to make your voice be heard [regardless of how the Electoral College will negate you anyways] then you have become a political whore. You weren't bought by money, but by ideology that loses every time.

The next time around I will not be so reluctant to give up my vote to someone who has a better chance. Come hell or high water, even if my candidate has the worst shot than anyone else they will still get my vote. It's all about principle. If you have no principle, regardless of who you're voting for, then you should not be allowed to vote.

Blig Blag Blog

Many moons ago I entered my last post here. I really didn't mean for it to take so long before putting this one up but it just hasn't been as high of a priority for me lately. I even struggled putting this one up.

It's not like I don't have ideas to blog about, because I've got enough of them to choke a camel [though I don't condone the choking of any animals]. I think that it is the matter of not having an Internet connection wet-wired to my brain that is the biggest inconvenience. I really need thought recognition software of some kind that automatically opens a blog session when I have one of those "HAZAH" moments.

I'm not going to go down the roll of everything that I've been up to lately because I am just too bored to get into all that so I am going to break into dream again. I need someone out there to try and give me a meaningful interpretation of what I am dreaming about. Here goes:

Last night I had another dream. In the dream I had a few things creep back up that seem to be recurring patterns.

1. I am back at the college that I attended 10 years ago but it seems to always be in a different city
2. I never know what my class schedule is prior to the first day or school and classes having already started 20 minutes ago
3. On top of getting ready for classes there is also a very high priority for me to get my name out about the business that I run, primarily because I don't want to have a part time job working for someone else. I want to work for myself and make better money at it
4. Last night's different change up was that I had gotten a haircut. Right now it is about 2 inches past my chin in front and about 4-6 inches below my shoulders in back. In the dream I had just gotten it cut down short enough to do one of those metrosexual spike deals

Why am I always going back to school? What does that mean? And what is significant about it being a specific school?

I think I understand the job deal. I think that makes sense. It might be an affirmation that I long to be self-sufficient.

I'm not totally sure about the haircut part other than the fact that I've been tossing around the idea even while I'm conscious throughout the day. I'll probably keep it though.

So what does all this mean?