Custom Search

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

In interesting correlation

From The Wittenburg Door Insider; Feb. 21, 2007


After Scientology Uber-Fuhrer David Miscavige declared Tom Cruise a Christ-figure who will be worshipped in years to come, our John Green decided to research the parallels between Tom-Tom and Jesus. He discovered some shocking facts:

Jesus was tempted to leap from the pinnacle of the Temple.
Oprah let Tom jump on her couch.

Christ was maligned and misunderstood.
Tom got bad reviews for Days of Thunder.

King David (symbolic of Christ) danced in his linen ephod before the Ark of the Covenant.
Tom danced in his tightie-whities in Risky Business.

Jesus was the son of a carpenter.
Tom took woodshop class in junior high.

Jesus carried out a difficult mission.
Tom starred in the Mission Impossible trinity.

The wise men brought costly gifts to the baby Jesus.
Baby Suri's Vanity Fair photos brought big bucks to Tom.

Jesus could have called down a legion of angels to rescue him from the cross.
Tom has minions of Scientology lawyers to back him up.

Jesus was silent before his accusers.
Tom's religion silences its accusers.

Jesus had a band of loyal followers.
Tom is followed everywhere by paparazzi.

Jesus created the universe ex nihilo.
L. Ron Hubbard created Scientology from nothing.

Jesus has guest-starred on South Park.
Ditto for Tom.

Labels: , , , ,


Blogger greg said...

"Tom has minions of Scientology lawyers to back him up."

LOL. That's gold, Jerry. GOLD!

February 21, 2007 at 11:55 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home