Hey Monkey

I'm back for another session; I'm really pretty bummed about the reality that every time I post a new entry that it isn't really "topical" as much as it is an overdue mental vomit that contains a little bit of everything that I've been chewing on in my mind. Sorry for that, but time and energy just don't permit my blog to be all that she wants...."and all that she wants is another baby....and she's gone tomorrow."

Monkey in the picture used for this entry represents several things to me right now. The first thing that it represents was the most enjoyable thing that I recently observed at the Henry Doorly Zoo. The Spider Monkeys were incredible creatures to watch. They moved with such grace and agility and I just wanted to take one home. They were really getting jiggy with hamburger buns, graham crackers, pretzels and whatever the people were throwing into them. They sat out on logs holding themselves in place with their hands and tails while gracefully swooping down to steal the offerings from the tops of the Japaneese Carp that were too slow to retrieve them. One of them even raised his hand when he was ready for more. A sign to the crowd that "I'm the one that you should be looking at."

The zoo was a great time. In my two years living in Omaha I had ridden my bike there on several occasions, but just never when they were open. It lived up to what I expected of it.

Omaha.

I don't know what it is about Omaha. Every time I cross that bridge that separates Iowa's Council Bluffs and Nebraska's Omaha I just feel like somehow I'm back home. I have so many fond memories of that city and I wish that I could re-live so many of them. I don't seem to be able to get back there much but when I do it is always a treat. So what are my memories? Funny you should ask:

• Playing guitar with one of my professors in the upper room of his house
• Being able to be a part of a church that met on a Saturday night that wasn't concerned with how big we were
• Working down in the Old Market district and being able to meet so many different kinds of people
• Being able to ride my bike to work in the Old Market district
• Making runs to the Vinton Street Tobacco shot to pick up cigars for poker night
• Driving endlessly up and down Dodge and Douglas endlessly wondering if they ever stopped or started anywhere
• Playing ultimate frisbee in Freedom Park on the occasional Sunday afternoon
• Ordering Dominos pizza so often that they actually sent us a Christmas card one year
• Riding my bike through the old neighborhoods
• Taking trips out to the music shop to pick up guitar strings and oogle over all the other stuff that I couldn't afford
• Making afternoon runs to all of the thrift shops in search of the best deals
• Walking through parks while the Mexicans held their monster birthday parties and hearing their music blair
• Spending hours in the chair at the BioLife plasma donation center so that I could turn around and take that money to Hooper's so I could increase my CD collection
• Working in a crappy music store in one of the suburbs and driving to work every day wondering which one would be my last due to having to close the place down
• Late night talks with roomies
• Getting up at noon on Sundays
• The crappy campus "diner" food on Sunday nights (chicken strips, fries and a soda)
• The band, Autumn's Green, that I used to play in

So many things happened there that go into making me who I am today. Some thins I wish were the same. I'm glad some things have changed.

Another monkey is the one on my back about running my own business. Each day that goes by brings with it the feeling that sooner or later I should just bite the bullet and start doing it. I admit that I still feel scared about it.

Another monkey is the other one on my back about my parents' divorce. Divorce sucks. I just can't say that enough. I have never heard of a "good" divorce. Ever. It is hard to be in the place of having to be emotionally supportive of my mom without letting all of her pain become my own. It is hard to be there for my dad when by all appearances we don't even really have much of a relationship. And it sucks even worse to be stuck in the middle and trying to care only enough to be available for both parties, but distant enough to try and remain numb.

Another monkey for today is one of my own, my monkey daughter. Tonight we have our 2nd annual Father-Daughter dance. What happens tonight is that I take her on a date. She picks the place where we go to eat. Last year she chose Perkins and this year she has chosen Culvers. We get all dressed up and then we go out to dinner and just spend time together. We talk about what it means to grow up. We, as dads, try and take an opportunity to show our little girls what they should be treated like as ladies. We open doors for them, slide out their chairs and do whatever other chivalrous things come to mind. We just spend quality time together...somthing that all of us dad's should be doing more often anyways.

Then when dinner is done we return to the chosen location for a dance. All the daddies and daughters have fun for a couple of hours dancing and goofing around. We also have some snacks and punch and play some games. It is a fun time for everyone. I'm looking forward to it. I may not be the best dad in the world but I love my babies.

This week will also mark [in some way, shape or form] the re-shaping of my ass. I have had it [once again] with being the shape that I am. I have to start out slow and work my way up, but I am thinking that between now and my birthday in September that there should be no excuse for me not to have dropped at least 15lbs or at least turned it from fat into muscle.

It is now rainging outside....again....and more threats of flooding are on the horizon for many parts of the state. Just a few weeks ago I was asking when we might actually see summer. Now it is here with all of its humidity and misery. I know that I am dreaming but I just want a year of fall and spring.

Gary N. [If you're reading this], I've decided that I will try to have a song written by the time we come back to Omaha. I'm also looking forward to being able to lay down some vocals for some of the tunes that you were asking me about. I hope we can do that sometime sooner rather than later.

Jason, I look forward to having you up here in a couple of weeks. Our rendezvous is long overdue and it is largely my fault.

Spoon, thanks for the tech referral in Dallas.

Linebarger, if you read this then thanks for taking the referral. I know she appreciates it.

To all mah otha' homiez- peace and luvs to y'all

I had other crap I was going to write about too but I can't remember it right now. Mabye today will be a periodical catch up day.